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JASMINE THERESE
"I only love simplicity. I have a horror of pretence."
- Saint Thérèse of Lisieux |
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EthelMark Michelle Ting Inspiration
LushleeOh Joy! GLOS |
Sunday, January 13, 2008  Currently Playing:Trouble Coldplay It's almost hard to believe that i'm up this early on a sunday morning. I think my body clock's adjusting itself.. which is all good, really. Had training yesterday and it's the suckiest session i've had in a long time. And i mean suckiest. It's not the 1-hour of footwork that got to me; more like how i couldn't get simple things like tempo and distance right. As if that's not bad enough, free-fencing later was even worse. Fenced a 15-points bout with kai and i totally lost control of myself, which came from the fact that i was trying too hard to win and to atone for my mistakes in the earlier part of training.. and inevitably, i lost sight of the tactical aspects of the bout and end up charging/rushing and attacking at the wrong time, wrong distance. So i was losing 6-9 to kai. Got so overwhelmed with emotions that i didn't know what i was doing and what to do after, except to charge mindlessly, then getting so mad at myself, screamed, and this went on. Yeah lah, very boorish. And for that i'm really apologetic. Anyway coach yl saw that and he calmed me down a bit by shouting out instructions to me from the side. It helped keep my tempo under control, and make my attacks work a tad better so i ended the bout 15-12. Though i won technically, it wasn't really a win cos 1. i displayed really lousy sportsmanship, 2. yl helped me do the mental aspect of fencing while i just executed whatever moves he told me to do, hence it wasn't my own effort and 3. i displayed really lousy sportsmanship again. But fortunately, kai's a nice gentleman. I apologized to him after it and he simply just smiled and said it's okay. No, it's not. But through this experience, i gained a new insight to fencing or to any other sport, on how it's almost imperative to lose one's competitiveness and ego in order to achieve a higher state of enlightenment or understanding or the like. It applies to studies too. Min made it very clear to me last night that i'm going through a stagnancy in my progress in fencing. It's either i get through it to proceed to the next level, or just fall from here. Make, or break.
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